• kashmerecomedy

Things I’d Rather Do Than an Afternoon Zoom Meeting

It should be illegal for your boss (or anyone for that matter) to e-mail / contact you after 3:45PM. I mean come on, the day is done — let’s just call it. Of course, that’s not reality, so below is just a quick list of things we’d all rather be doing than hopping on Zoom to ‘talk goals.’

  • Take out the garbage.

  • Make small talk with my neighbor who never takes out their garbage.

  • Finally answer all the ignored Slack messages I don’t care for.

  • Wash the dishes I was supposed to clean last night.

  • Search ‘tired’ on WebMD and then spiral for 2 years.

  • Listen to the 10 minute VM my ex left me last weekend at 3am.

  • Actually doing one of the 500 recipes that I’ve saved from a Tasty video.

  • Read the creepy messages from randoms on my LinkedIn account (anyone else have this problem?)

  • Pay any of my late bills… oops.

  • Watch workout videos but not actually do them (anyone else just eat pita chips and hummus while watching the HIIT class that was supposed to change your life?)

  • Stalk that one girl from high school who is a part of an MLM scheme (I always check in to make sure she’s still alive and thriving with Mary Kay)

  • Actually talk to that one girl from your high school when she asks you if you want to join her MLM.

  • Spend an hour on Netflix figuring out what show to watch next.

  • Watch James Charles apology video on YouTube (no, the other apology video)

  • Put away the pile of clothing sitting on the useless chair in my room away.

  • My job. Just kidding.

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